This is intended as a safe space for neuroatypical and other disabled people who need some encouragement and a shelter from the negativity that society sends us. Please be aware that comments are moderated to maintain this safe space. If you would like to know more about the purpose of this blog, please see the explanation on my other blog.
I just came across this post on Musings of an Aspie, about strengths of Aspergers Syndrome. She has two lists - strengths (or "how Asperger's has made me awesome") and superpowers (or "how Asperger's has made me who I am").
She describes her Asperger's strengths as the following:
She's nonjudgmental
She has a strong attachment to the truth
She's curious
She's loyal
She's sincere
She has well-defined values
She's an unconventional problem solver
She's an optimist
And for her superpowers, she says:
She's perceptive
She has a high IQ
She's calm in a crisis
She's dependable and disciplined
She's determined
So, now it's my turn. I'm not sure what the distinction between strengths and superpowers, so I'll just divide them the way that makes sense to me.
My superpowers (core things about me):
I'm caring and empathetic. I don't always know how someone else feels, but I care very deeply. I don't try to do right because my parents want me to or because God will punish me - I do it because I care about making the world better for the people around me.
I'm passionate about my beliefs. I don't let people use judgment or pressure to convince me to do something I believe is wrong.
I'm rational and logical - or at least I consistently try to be. I'm no android. I have feelings, and I act on them. But I challenge my beliefs and look for evidence. I check if the facts back up what I think, and when a piece of evidence makes me uncomfortable, I think about it rather than just dismissing it.
I'm creative. I can imagine strange ways of being and thinking. I like to write stories and always have tons of ideas. I also think up novel research hypotheses and ways of studying them, and novel ways to solve various problems I face.
My strengths (things I'm good at that aren't super essential to my identity):
I have a high IQ
I'm curious, with a high need for cognition
I'm good with animals
I'm good with languages
I can figure out how to use technology to meet my needs
I'm a good sister and daughter
I instinctively use good 'parenting' strategies with my dog
There's something about autistic people and cats. Maybe it's that we're similar in some ways - cats get overloaded easily, hate change and don't strongly crave interaction, just like many autistic people. I don't know, but I do know that autistic people seem to be more likely to have cats and to have a very strong bond with cats.
And on that note, here are some videos of autistic people with cats.
This little girl and her Maine Coon therapy cat are inseparable - the cat even goes swimming with her!
This Bengal follows around a playful stimmy little boy, especially when he goes outside in their backyard.
This man, diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome at 49 years old, has created an extensive network of catwalks in his home for his cats to enjoy.
And this boy regularly gets woken up by his very affectionate cat.
Ability to find alternate paths to overcome obstacles Able to take on large situations Adaptive/collaborative Adventurous, courageous, lives outside of boundaries Always finding alternate routes to any given location. Always willing to help others Ambitious – you want to be everything when “you grow up” Artistic Attractive personality – magnetic due to high energy Being able to see the big picture Being able to see the patterns in the chaos. Being intuitive towards others’ difficulties Broad focus – can see more, notice things more Can create order from chaos Can do many projects at once Can make people feel they are heard Can see the big picture Can talk about several things at one time Can think on my feet Career variety Centre of attention Comfortable talking in front of groups Comfortable with change and chaos Compassion for others and for themselves Conceptualizes well Confidence Constantly evolving Courageous Creates connections easily Creative Creative writing Creative – musical, artistic, “dramatic” Good in a crisis Good at customer relations Dedicated Detail-oriented Determined to gain more control Eager to make friends Eager to try new things Empathetic, sensitive Energetic Entrepreneurial Excellent organizers using journals and reminders (notes etc.) Flexible – changes as the situation requires Fun guy to be around Goal-oriented Good at conceptualizing Good at motivating self and others Good at multitasking Good at problem solving Good at public speaking Good at understanding others/mind reading – empathetic Good conversationalist Good delegator and good at organizing others Good in emergency situations Good listener Good looking and aware of it Good people skills Good self esteem, energetic Great brain-stormer Great multitasker Great self-company Great sense of humour Great storyteller Great with kids (central figure around kids) Hands-on workers Hard worker Has friendly relations with their family Has the gift of gab Helpful Helps others who are also in trouble High energy – go, go, go Humour, very healthy, quick picking up ideas Hyper focus !! Hypersensitive – very empathetic and good at non-verbal communications Idea generator Imaginative Impulsive (in a good way) not afraid to act Initiators Intelligent Intuitive It’s ok to not finish everything Learning as much as I can to help children and others with adhd Less sleep is good (midnight to 6 am) Like to talk a lot Likes learning new things Look at multidimensional sides to a situation Lots of interests Loves to cook and be creative Magnetic Master idea generator Mentoring others/helpful Mentoring people with low self esteem Modesty Move on fast – never hold a grudge Multitasks well Never bored and rarely boring Never intimidated to try new things Non-linear, multi-dimensional/edge of chaos Not afraid to speak mind Not contained by boundaries. On stage and ready Optimistic Outgoing Passionate Persistent Philosophical Holistic thinking Playful Pragmatic Problem solver Profound Quick thinking Quick witted Relates to people easily Resistant Resourceful Saves money in the short term by forgetting to file tax returns See and remember details – recount them later Sees the big picture Socially adaptive and flexible. Spontaneous Stabilizer during difficult situations Stable Successful Takes initiative Tenacious Theoretical Think outside the box Thinks 2 meters ahead of the world Thinks big, dreams big Thorough Tolerant Unconventional Unlimited energy Unorthodox Versatile Very creative, able to generate a lot of ideas Very hard working to compensate – workaholic Very intuitive Very resourceful Very successful Visionary Visual learner Willing to explore Willing to take risks Willingness to help others Witty Won’t tolerate boredom Works well under pressure Worldly
Four days before her birthday, autistic AAC user Carly Fleischmann posted this video of an autistic barista doing a stimmy dance to help him concentrate while making a drink. She said that her birthday wish was to have this video go viral.
Well, she got her wish. He got to be so well-known, he and his boss even appeared on the Ellen Show. (Note for auditory sensitivities: Ellen's show has applause.)
Alissa Sizemore lost her leg a year before this video. She was a dancer before the accident, and for her first performance since, she chose a song full of meaning for her.
Be aware that this video is live, and there's a bit of cheering, so if you have auditory sensitivities you may want to turn the volume down until you know how loud it is.
Jacob Barnett, now 18 years old, became famous in his early teens as a math prodigy. He began auditing university classes when he was 8 years old, and formally enrolled at the age of 10.
One of the things about autism is that a lot of things can make you terribly unhappy while barely affecting others. A lot of things are harder.
But some things? Some things are so much easier. Sometimes being autistic means that you get to beincredibly happy. And then you get to flap. You get to perseverate. You get to have just about the coolest obsessions. (Mine are: sudoku and Glee. I am not ashamed.)
Now, maybe you do not understand. Because “obsession” and even “perseveration” have specific dictionary and colloquial meanings which everyone uses and understands and which do not even come CLOSE to describing my relationship with whatever I’m obsessing on now. It’s not just that I am sitting in my room and my heart is racing and all I can think about is Glee and all I want to do is read about it and talk about it and never go to sleep because that would take time away from this and that has been my life for the past few days. It’s not just that I am doing sudokus in my head or that I find ways to talk about either numbers or Gleein any conversation, including ones about needing to give a student a sensory break so he’ll stop screaming and throwing things.
(It’s not just the association and pressure of shame, because when ever an autistic person gets autistically excited about something, there will be people there to shame and bully them, and some of us will internalize that shame and lock away our obsessions and believe the bullies and let them take away this unique, untranslatable joy and turn it into something dirty and battered.)
It’s not any of that. Those are all things neurotypicals can understand and process. This goes beyond that. It’s not anything recognized on the continuum of “normal”.
It’s that the experience is so rich. It’s textured, vibrant, and layered. It exudes joy. It is a hug machine for my brain. It makes my heart pump faster and my mouth twitch back into a smile every few minutes. I feel like I’m sparkling. Every inch of me is totally engaged in and powered up by the obsession. Things are clear.
It is beautiful. It is perfect.
I flap a lot when I think about Glee or when I finish a sudoku puzzle. I make funny little sounds. I spin. I rock. I laugh. I am happy. Being autistic, to me, means a lot of different things, but one of the best things is that I can be so happy, so enraptured about things no one else understands and so wrapped up in my own joy that, not only does it not matter that no one else shares it, but it can become contagious.
This is the part about autism I can never explain. This is the part I never want to lose. Without this part autism is not worth having.
Neurotypical people pity autistics. I pity neurotypicals. I pity anyone who cannot feel the way that flapping your hands just so amplifies everything you feel and thrusts it up into the air. I pity anyone who doesn’t understand how beautiful the multiples of seven are, anyone who doesn’t get chills when a shadow falls just so across a solitaire game spread out on the table. I pity anyone who is so restrained by what is considered acceptable happiness that they will never understand when I say that sometimes being autistic in this world means walking through a crowd of silently miserable people and holding your happiness like a secret or a baby, letting it warm you as your mind runs on the familiar tracks of an obsession and lights your way through the day.
It takes a million different forms. A boy pacing by himself, flapping and humming and laughing. An “interest” or obsessions that is “age appropriate”—or maybe one that is not. A shake of the fingers in front of the eyes, a monologue, an echolaliated phrase. All of these things autistic people are supposed to be ashamed of and stop doing? They are how we communicate our joy.
If I could change three things about how the world sees autism, they would be these. That the world would see that we feel joy—sometimes a joy so intense and private and all-encompassing that it eclipses anything the world might feel. That the world would stop punishing us for our joy, stop grabbing flapping hands and eliminating interests that are not “age-appropriate”, stop shaming and gas-lighting us into believing that we are never, and can never be, happy. And that our joy would be valued in and of itself, seen as a necessary andbeautiful part of our disability, pursued, and shared.
This is about the obsessive joy of autism. So I guess, if I’m trying to explain what an obsession (and, by necessity, obsessive joy) means to me as an autistic person, I can bring it back to the tired old image of a little professor cornering an unsuspecting passerby and lecturing them for half an hour. All too often this encounter is viewed through the terrified eyes of the unwillingly captive audience. I’d like to invite you to see through the eyes of the lecturer, who is not so much determined to force their knowledge into you as they are opened to a flood of joy which they cannot contain.
And why would you want to contain something like that?
I just came across ASAN's Welcome to the Autistic Community pamphlets. These pamphlets (one for teenagers and one for adults) are intended to be read by newly-diagnosed autistic individuals, as an introduction to their disability and the autistic community.
And what a good introduction they are! They are accepting, discussing difficulties in a non-shaming and non-pathologizing manner, and they explain the social model of disability and the good sides of autism. And they do this all in simple language, so even if the reader has receptive language issues or an intellectual disability, they stand a good chance of understanding these pamphlets.
The pamphlets, along with many other resources, can be found in ASAN's Resource Library. If you want to go straight to the pamphlets themselves, the adolescent one is here and the adult one is here.
Thirteen year old Rosie explains what autism is like for her and some people she knows:
She is very creative and unique. My favorite part, though, is her relationship with her brother, who is also autistic and can't speak.
Transcript for those who need text:
(Intro)
My name's Rosie.
I live with my Mum, my Dad, my brother and my sister. And one day I want to be a world famous actress.
I also have autism, which means my brain works a bit differently.
I'm going to take you into my world. (Rosie saying: "Imagination".)
Show you how autism affects kids in all sorts of different ways. (Lenny babbling. Ben saying: "I'm not a logical person, as you may know." Tony saying: "I want to be different, I asked to be different, I am different.")
But that however it affects you, it doesn't have to hold you back. So stick with me, and find out what it really means to be autistic.
(My Autism and Me)
The kind of autism I have is called Asperger's Syndrome, and sometimes it makes me see things a little bit differently. I get very sensitive, and I can't control it. And sometimes it's a bad thing because all the other kids are laughing when I'm, just, crying, screaming at things that they're not.
Every single thing, even things that aren't living, has a personality, and a life. If there's two pairs of shoes, and I pick one, I feel like the other pair would feel left out, or something. I don't like saying certain words because they just make me feel all tense and unhappy.
A lot of people with autism have found it sometimes mixes your senses up a little bit. I can feel words. I used to describe a word as being slimy, or prickly, because that's what it tasted, or felt when I said it, or when other people said it. Quite a lot of people didn't have much understanding about it. They don't mean to be mean, but they just hurt my feelings because of my sensitivity.
So what exactly is autism? People with autism have problems relating to others, and making sense of the world around them. Scientists know it affects the way the brain works, but they don't know what causes it. Boys are much more likely to be autistic than girls, and it can run in families. Autism isn't rare - one in every hundred people is autistic - and it comes in all shapes and sizes. (Boy saying: "I get very stressed in crowds, um, I have anxiety issues." Boy saying: "I'm sometimes easily distracted, easily annoyed." Boy saying: "It's bit difficult for me, uh, with the how to conversation. Uh, I need to try think very hard about it." Boy saying: "If someone does touch me, I say 'can you please not do that again?'" Boy saying: "I sort of feel sometimes like people will try to hurt me." Boy saying: "It feels, uh, uncomfortable at, uh, when the people's crowded." Boy saying: "I'm not really normal, but it's kind of, I can't describe it, I'm sorry, I can't really describe it.")
Although it can be a problem, I wouldn't swap my autism for anything. It makes me who I am. I just wouldn't be the same without it. For instance, I think it gives me my imagination.
It also gives me my incredible skill at remembering hundreds of impressive facts. (Rosie saying: "The inventor of the waffle iron, didn't like waffles. Spain literally means the land of rabbits.) Some people might call my obsession with facts a bit boring. I call it focus. And I'm not the only autistic person who thinks like this.
(Tony's Story)
Tony's autism expresses itself with major obsessions. At the moment, it's a role-playing game called Warhammer, with loads of complicated rules. And having clear rules about everything makes Tony feel good. (Tony saying: "Remember, I've got the objective so far, because I'm within three inches of the buildings.")
(Tony) Most people, when they do a hobby, they normally do it for a period of, maybe, a year or two. We do it for nearly a decade.
(Tony's sister Jasmine) Lots of autistic people like to get interested in a hobby, and that is what Tony is like with Warhammer. He absolutely loves it.
(Tony) It's a strategy board game including little plastic minions that you have to build, and paint, and then you get to play with them. It's really epically fun. (Tony saying: "Green, for the Ork skin.")
(Jasmine) He's really good at painting, he's really good at building. That's all he likes to do. (Tony saying: "I get four attacks each, on the charge, which is awesome!) Some autistic people like to know everything about a subject, and Tony knows all of the rules about Warhammer. (Tony saying: "They're complicated and hard. Basically studded infantry moves six inches..." his voice overlaps saying multiple rules.) If he doesn't know all the rules then he can't play, and if he can't play, he gets really angry. (Tony saying: "Normally when I'm playing the game I don't talk, I think, I plan. I'm working, I'm plotting, it's really fun.")
(Tony) Well, just like people like organizing stuff, I organize stuff, because otherwise everything will be out of order and hectic. I color-code all my models to make sure they're not mixed up, I also keep special units separate from the core units. They have to be in the same box, same place, I just want everything to be organized.
(Jasmine) If you drop something and put it back where it could belong, he'll know, because he'll just measure it. (Tony saying: "What are you doing putting it there? You don't put it there, you put it next to, no, you put it, you put it, yeah, here.") Tony finds it hard to make friends, because he doesn't really know how to say to people 'can you be my friend?' (Tony counting dice, saying: "Can I borrow three dice?")
(Tony) The reason I don't have any friends is because my friends are little plastic miniatures and I'm just an anti-personnel magnet. I just feel like models, they can't talk, they can't move, they can't do anything, but they keep me company. I just don't feel lonely with them around. I am perfectly normal, it's everyone else is weird. The entire world's weird, I'm fine.
(Rosie) Like many children with autism, Tony doesn't find it easy to socialize. But his hobby has helped him to make friends.
(End of Tony's Story)
There are lots of different types of autism. Some people, like me, have a much milder type. But others have a much more severe sort. And one of them is my little brother. (Lenny babbling.) This is Lenny. He has classic autism. Even though he's nine years old, he can't really talk, and we think that he won't have much independence, and he'll be looked after all his life.
At the moment, Lenny is nesting on the TV. He grabs some throws from the surface, stuffs them down there, and then sits on them, eating gogurts, which is yogurts. He likes things in certain places. He puts all the throws behind the TV, he turns the sofas over. (Lenny babbling.) He fills the bathroom with bubbles, and he likes it that way, but we don't, and we don't see why he likes it that way. (Rosie saying: "Hi, Lenny", Lenny babbling in response.) He feels really stressed if the doors aren't shut. He can just sense the doors being open. (Rosie saying: "Right, back to the bath now.")
(Rosie and Lenny's mother) A lack of understanding can be a real difficulty because Lenny looks completely normal. (Lenny babbling.) And there's only his behavior, really, that gives a clue, to the fact that he has a disability. (Lenny babbling.) And it can often seem like that child's being naughty or throwing a tantrum, when in fact they're just reacting to some kind of stimulus or they're unhappy and they're unable to express any needs.
(Rosie) The best thing about my little brother is absolutely everything. Look at him! He's absolutely brilliant!
(End of Lenny's Story)
Because it's not always obvious that people have autism, some people just think we're mad or being naughty. This lack of understanding is one of the worst things about being autistic.
(Ben's Story)
(Ben) My name is Ben. I was bullied at school because people didn't understand the fact that I had autism. Autism, to me, enlargens one of your emotions, it makes it a lot more potent. For me it made my anger a lot bigger, and when I completely lost it, I would sort of lose my vision. I'd be able to hear, but I wouldn't see - I'd be seeing red, you might say. And next thing I knew, I'd be informed by somebody that I attacked somebody or done some sort of damage. Sort of like Viking Beserkers. I'm twice the trouble of them.
People figured I had an anger problem, they continuously taunted me, goaded me, most of them called me a bear. I was feared, I was hated, it wasn't fun. Imagine going to school every day and not having a single friend. I was very depressed, I didn't enjoy life, I'd realized that it wasn't going to get any better. I was very desperate for any sort of help. I didn't want to live, I actually did not want to live at that time.
(Text saying: Ben's story isn't unusual. Half of all children with autism are bullied.)
Well, when I started school, I didn't really go to me lessons, I was too afraid. After awhile, I was starting to get more confidence, and I came down with support from the LSU. The LSU stands for Learning Support Unit, and it has really helped my life. If you are worried or panicked or something bad happens, I can always go straight up there and attack a pillow or something to get me anger out. Amidst all the chaos, you find sanctuary in the unit if you're autistic.
Just having support has helped with everything else. It's made me more confident, made me calmer, and now, I am able to go down to nearly any lesson given without any support. I've become more sociable. I've learnt more about the outside world than just looking at the window. I've got more things to talk about. I can relate to more. I used to think that every time I got near somebody, they would call the cops on me. But I've got friends now.
(Ben's friend Ryan) Ben, I find an interesting person, in fact, and quite entertaining.
(Ben's friend Anya) He sees things differently, so he brings different points of view that you wouldn't necessarily think of yourself.
(Ben's friend David) I'd probably say funny, quite serious as well sometimes.
(Ben) I think they think I'm fairly okay, someone to watch out for, but still fairly okay. Clever, occasionally funny, and a bit mad. But I'm quite happy to be called that. I'm just happy to have friends.
(Rosie) Ben is just one of half a million people with autism in the UK. And like him, many of them have a difficult time. Nearly three in every four children with autism feel unhappy and anxious about things. It's not because they're autistic, it's because they're not getting the help and support they need. And things don't get much better when we get older. In fact, only one in every six people with autism end up with a full-time paid job.
When I grow up, I want to be a famous actress, hairdresser, Dalek, and I don't see why my autism should stop me.
(My Success Story)
One thing I've learned is that just because I'm autistic doesn't mean I can't succeed. I love drawing, and last year my drawings were published in a book my Mum wrote. I did nearly twenty illustrations, and this one's my favorite. Lots of people wanted to know about the book and my drawings. I even appeared on the one show to talk about it, which meant sitting next to Robson Green and chatting with the presenters. (Presenter saying: "And great illustrations!" Other presenter replies: "Yeah, your own pictures, yeah." Rosie thanks them.)
I've made this film because I wanted to tell the world about how many autistic kids get bullied at school, and then have a really tough time getting jobs when they're older. I wanted everyone to see close-up what it's like to live with autism, and I hope you've enjoyed meeting Tony, Ben, Lenny and me. Autistic kids can come across as a bit different, but it's well worth getting to know us. Living with autism can be hard sometimes, but it makes me who I am. Autism makes me different, but it also makes me unique and special. ('Born This Way' by Lady Gaga plays over the credits.)
In response to a letter from a scared pregnant woman whose child had just been prenatally diagnosed with Down Syndrome, a European Down Syndrome group released the following video:
It features 15 people with Down Syndrome, from many different countries, talking about what people with Down Syndrome can do.
